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07/22/22

Today i did as usual, sat in my room and wasted a shit ton of time. I did laundry today, mainly because i had to get my work shirt clean before my closing shift tonight. I work at 5 and im writing this at about 4:20 (haha funny number). Now that i think about it ive been very productive today, check the update log for that matter and i also did that load of laundry. At least im actually writing something instead of laying in my bed, masterbaiting to rule 34 with Scott the Woz playing in the background.

Ever since i started my new job ive experienced this certain kind of confusion with girls. Sometimes i think that a girl is looking at me, either to check me out or to look at the freak show that is myself. I wouldnt be supprised by either of the suspicions being true, ive managed to get into relationships in the past. Ive even gone as far as a girl letting me touch her tits and lady bits, that night was fucking awesome. Sure, she started dating some guy and didnt tell me for like a week until a friend told me what was going on a month after i touched her holy grail, but at least it happened in the first place. I dont see myself as the sexiest man on earth, but i do think that im moderatly attractive. Its not like i'll go my whole life without ever getting laid because i look like shreks asshole. I'll just try to end up like my dad, Marry some woman and have a kid with her, just to come home to people loading your furniture into a truck and your wife giving you some funny papers infront of a lawyer (and thats before you have a kid with a girl you've been dating only to go into a bad spot with her, but then moving into her place once you make up before ending the relationship in a fight two years later). Damn, that was alot of trauma dumping (is it even trauma dumping if you arent traumatised by it?). Anyways, the point im trying to get to here is that i have a massive whole in my heart that i feel can only be replaced by the love of a romantic partner. (tldr; im down tremendus and looking for love)